NASA uses animals for testing.
One of their tests…they take a cannon…
...and they shoot the space shuttle with 9 pound chickens.
Are there barnyards in space?

I thought asteroid fields were dangerous…
But now they’re saying it’s Old McDonald’s Farm.

How’d you like to be a shuttle commander flying around up there…
Get hit by like…a party tray of nuggets?
“Houston…we have no dipping sauce.”

It’s also an extremely wasteful program…
…because they shoot 500,000 chickens every year.

They ought to take the chickens after they’re though with them…
…and ship ‘em off to grocery stores.
“Hey, they got in splattered chicken.
I love that freshly scraped off a space ship taste.”


They have testing sites all over…
…there’s also one in Tennessee.
It’s at the Arnold Air Force Base and Feed Store.

The cannon’s called The Rooster Booster and the chickens Mcbullets.
In fact, that’s what that astronaut was carrying as she drove across the country in a diaper.
Had a hand-held Rooster Booster…
“Do you feel hungry, punk?”

They call the program the Scientific Poultry Launching Assessment Test. S.P.L.A.T
I like it.

My question is: who designed a test involving space travel and barnyard animals? Was a NASA scientist driving around town…… saw a cow painting a billboard, “Shoot more chickens.”